In the fall of 2018, I was newly pregnant with my first child. I had just turned twenty-two and I worried that my world was turning upside down. Although I was in a safe and happy marriage, I felt too young and unprepared to be a mother. I had not even graduated from college yet. Was this really the right thing for me to be doing? Shouldn’t I be pursuing a serious career like my friends?
These thoughts and many others swirled around my head as I went into General Conference that weekend in October. In one of his very first addresses as the prophet, President Russell M. Nelson responded to my questions and concerns directly.
In his talk entitled, Sisters’ Participation in the Gathering of Israel, President Nelson told of a time when he was visiting a congregation in South America and accidentally referred to himself as a “mother” when he meant to say “father”.
Then he said, thinking of the experience, “In that moment, the deep longing of my heart to make a difference in the world–like only a mother does–bubbled up from my heart. Through the years, whenever I have been asked why I chose to become a medical doctor, my answer has always been the same: ‘Because I could not choose to be a mother.’”
His words simultaneously stunned and soothed me. I thought, “Why would a man as accomplished and venerated as President Nelson want to be a mother?” Still to this day, I think about how seemingly ordinary and uncelebrated mothers are compared to a doctor–a heart surgeon–of his caliber. Why would he wish for anything less than his distinguished career? His answer: “No one can do what a righteous woman can do. No one can duplicate the influence of a mother.”
While part of me knew that this was true, to hear it from a man that had thrived in his career outside of the home and inside of the church meant so much to me. My pregnancy was not a derailment, my pregnancy gave my life new meaning and even dignification. I unknowingly was engaging in God’s work of creation, and it was President Nelson who helped me to see that.
My work as a mother has moved and changed me in ways I could have never imagined. The sacrifice has been a blessing as I have seen the promise that Christ made play out, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
The world told me that the loss of self, body, and career would demote and even delegitimize my worth. Yet Jesus Christ taught and his prophet echoed, that losing my life in service and sacrifice was going to be my way to find it again.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
President Nelson and his teachings left an indelible mark on my life. I am so grateful for his time, sacrifice, and testimony. I know the Savior more because of him, and I also know that my work as a mother matters. Now I am twenty-nine and the mother of three children. They are the joy of my life. Yet every once in a while I still wonder if this is the most productive or prestigious path my life could have taken, but I take heart knowing that President Nelson would have wanted to be a mother like me.
At this time thinking about President Nelson and his kindness this was a very touching story. Thank you