We recently held a 5th Sunday discussion with the youth in our ward and one of the topics we covered was the Law of Chastity and steady dating.
Steady Dating
Sharing the following quote from a prophet of the Lord, Gordon B. Hinckley, introduced a beautiful and guiding principle to help our youth as they make dating decisions in their lives. President Hinckley said:
“It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity.”
Another prophet, seer, and revelator, Dallin H. Oaks, made it clear that the early teen years is most definitely not the time for steady dating.
“The time will come when you should begin dating with an eye toward finding a companion with whom you can be compatible for eternity. That time is not during your early teens. It is when you are ready to leave the casual, social dating of youth and start looking seriously for a companion.”
If you were to talk to a large group of teens at a high school, these standards would most likely be mocked. Hopefully, youth who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would hold a higher standard and follow the guidance of a living prophet of the current trends of their friends.
How About Kissing?
One of the reasons there is the invitation to avoid familiarity is that it often leads to intimacy and a more frequent temptation to compromise standards.
The For the Strength of Youth guide, 2011 edition states: “Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression. Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not do anything else that arouses sexual feelings. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body”. These guidelines are still referenced in the Appendix of the interview questions that are asked to each prospective full-time missionary when they meet with their bishop and stake president.
How do you think this counsel would be received by the world at large? How do you feel members of the YSA Wards would react if they were taught that passionate kissing should be reserved for marriage? Hopefully they see it as a wonderful safeguard that allows them to keep the Law of Chastity and honor virtue.
Additional protective counsel is found in a November 2015 New Era article entitled, When is it OK to kiss?. It says,”…kissing often implies the kind of paired-off or serious relationship you’ve been counseled to avoid as a teen (see For the Strength of Youth, 4). So, while being attracted to a person is natural, and kissing someone is a natural way of expressing affection or attraction, that’s precisely why you need to be cautious about it.”
Please do all you can to teach your children and the youth within your sphere of influence that these standards are meant to bless them and bring them freedom and confidence as they move forward along the covenant path. So many youth aren’t taught these principles and they suffer because of it.
How blessed we are to have the counsel of living prophets who are the mouthpiece of the Lord.
Because these guidelines are still referenced in the Appendix of the interview questions that are asked to each prospective full-time missionary when they meet with their bishop and stake president.
Good article, but why are you using the outdated For the Strength of Youth guide?
Last paragraph needs fixing: “So many youth are taught these principles and they suffer because of it.”