This person wishes to remain anonymous. Please share your love and support.
“I’ve submitted this post anonymously so I can be the most vulnerable and raw, with the hope that I might receive some great advice and counsel from you all.
I am a 25-year-old woman who served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I was 19.
I’ve always been really active in the church and in the gospel. I feel peace when I’m doing what the Lord would have me do.
I’ve struggled with an addiction to pornography since I was a young girl. (If you’re a woman struggling with an addiction to Pornography check out LDS Women Pornography Addiction Support Group – it’s awesome!)
However, that used to be really my only trial in life. I was doing everything else right; even if I was still struggling with my addiction.
Well, fast forward. It has gotten out of hand. I look at pornography at least once a day – but, sometimes more.
My addiction has also led me to act out and now I’ve lost my virginity to a man that doesn’t even really like me. But, I continue to do it with him because 1) I like it and 2) My insecurities lead me to believe this might be my only opportunity to experience such things.
I don’t pray anymore – like at all. I feel like if I’m praying I’m just mocking God because I’m doing things that I know are wrong. I’m doing them intentionally.
Truth is, I feel absolutely and completely alone. How can I have the desire to do what is right again?
Because currently, I don’t have the desire to try but I’m also aware of the eternal consequences if I don’t ‘shape up’.
Please help me know what to do!”
What counsel and support who you offer this dear sister?
Hi, I’m Michael, I am 17 years old. Thank you for addressing this, to be honest dear friend, I also was in the same situation as you. I can confirm that I have been addicted to pornography since my early curiosity years and it has affected my character as well. I felt troublesome and uncomfortable as things not changing for me, I felt nothing, I felt I was missing something so dear to me, I felt distracted, and I felt the shame in myself. Something that wasn’t changed throughout my struggle is my testimony, I don’t why, but I always reminded myself that “God loves his children no matter what”, I still have a testimony of his infinite love for us and his matchless gift that *he so loved us that he sent his only begotten Son that we may believe on him for eternal life, but shall not perish.*.
I can say here right now that He is aware of all of us and he knows our struggles, We may not be perfect in his sight, but his sight to us is perfect. He says that it is good. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland remarks this: “the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed”. I too have been tempted, even if I choose not to do, but the feelings cannot be ignored. I felt disconnected from God, yet my testimony still stands firm, every time I learned about God and his love for his children, I felt the assurance that “it is true, that he indeed love us”. As we try to acknowledge my weaknesses and mistakes and be more open to Him, I can tell that he will give us rest and strength as we come unto Him. Our Savior had sacrificed his life for us to attain his grace or repentance, why? because he loves us, he invited us to repent and come unto him, he came to fulfill the will of the Father, he came because he knows us that we were not perfect and we will make tons of mistakes. He is aware of our afflictions, he promised us this: “I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, he will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.” (3 Nephi 9: 14)
I am grateful that my firm testimony of him still gives me a sign that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us. I say to you friend if you ever struggling through such addiction, letting you know that you have friends and family that you have been closed to, even a Loving God still be there for you. I say he is ready to hear us and give us strength, he’ll be able to work out our affliction. Thanks to your address, I felt I wasn’t alone in this situation, but of course, we are not alone, God will still be in our midst. There is help from your close associates and the love of your Father in Heaven is still available. Jesus Christ had made it possible for us to make weak things become strong as we humble ourselves and come unto him. Go Press forward dear friend for I know everything will work out, For with God’s love and his open arms “nothing shall be impossible.” (Luke 18:27)
You dont need to worry too much about having a desire to do right again. You obviously want that desire so that’s enough. Use what faith you do have and allow the seed that’s already there to grow. The desire will come. Dont force it. Dont place so much expectation on yourself. That’s what the atonement is for. Christ knew to become as him we would need to become perfect and to become perfect it takes alot of practice through making mistakes. And we need weaknesses to be humble. If we waited til we had a desire to do right then we might just would wait forever. That’s a tool Satan is using by getting in your head. With that said, just choose a small thing to show faith so the spirit can begin to work in you. He doesn’t expect you to get it right away. Just allow him to work within you line upon line. Just bc you dont feel the desire doesnt mean you cant demonstrate faith. As you do pay attention to what you’re being taught and be mindful of Satans subtle attempts to trip you. Be prepared.
Hi I’m Cole I’m 18 years old and I will be a missionary here pretty soon I dealt with a pornography addiction for 5 years it’s not easy to give up and it doesn’t get easier their will always be temptation but their is hope in Christ atonement for us to strive to be better are hevanly father wants us to pray because that’s how we can ask for help. You are NOT ALONE this is not a rare problem their are more than you can count that are dealing with the exact same thing. Temptation might not go away but I’ll tell you this it dose get better not easier but you learn to fight it and learn to stand tall saying no matter what you do you cannot hurt me anymore. God’s not disappointed or ashamed he’s sitting their going my daughter is trying so hard and I’m so proud of her and I can’t wait to see her again to hug her and say I saw you fighting and I saw you conquer and I can’t be more proud of you ” worthiness is not flawlessness” elder Brad Wilcox listen to this talk it will give you spiritual strength you got this your a member of the army of helaman and you will fight with the army of God and with fight with the armor of god. I don’t know you but I did know you once in heaven and I love you and I can’t wait to say congratulations the next time I see you. However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love it is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ atonement shines – elder Jeffrey R Holland of the Quorum of the twelve apostles ❤️🤙
God never forsake anyone of us. He’s waiting for us to return to His embrace again. To anyone experiencing something like this, I know you can do it. Little by little. I know you can. Have faith and Jesus Christ will help you get through it.
@Adam,
Your reply to this sweet young woman is amazing. I’m sure there are many young adults who are who have are in the same situation as she is. any of my own children could be. If we as sinners could just believer and know that a loving Heavenly Father is waiting to heal us and bless us. He just needs to know we want to be healed and blessed. Thank you for offering what she needed! Most who have addictions don’t know where to begin the repentance and healing process.
God Bless You for giving her a starting point!
Sister,
From my own sad experience, I *promise* you that—when you are ready—God is going to be waiting with wide-open loving arms to help you in miraculous ways. Right now he loves you beyond imagining.
Be loved. 💛🙏🏼
First – please know you are NOT alone. No matter how far away you feel from our Heavenly Father and our Savior, they are right there behind you. And as you work to draw closer to them, you will feel their presence.
I have been in your situation. I know your pain and your struggle, and I know what it feels like to feel unworthy to pray. This is not true. There is no depth that our Savior cannot reach. No matter how far you feel you have fallen, He will be there to rescue you.
The repentance process is long and difficult, but so worth it. I came home early off my mission due to my own mistakes. As I was in the MTC, the guilt ate me alive. But I had never felt better as I flew home. I had admitted to my mission president that I was not worthy to be on a mission, and And as a Melchizedek priesthood holder, I sat in front of a disciplinary council of my Stake Presidency and the High Council. I was terrified and crushed. But as I left that meeting, I felt so loved by my Savior, and by every single member of my leadership. The repentance process is a process of love, not a process of punishment.
So here are my recommendations for you. First, IMMEDIATELY end your relationship with this man. It’s not healthy for either of you. As Elder Holland has said, if an inappropriate relationship has developed, sever it. If you’re afraid, or if he reacts in an angry and violent way, you can always seek a restraining order or order of protection from your local police department. The temporary pleasure you may feel from the relationship with him will be far outweighed by the joy of repentance, and the loving relationship you will someday have with a worthy and righteous husband.
Second, call your Bishop. He can guide you to resources to help you. It may seem scary, and you may be afraid of being judged, but Bishops are blessed by our Heavenly Father to be able to see you how God and Jesus Christ see you. He will see your future potential and will be able to guide you in your repentance process.
Third, pick someone you love and who you know loves you dearly and you can trust and ask them to be your accountability partner. I did not end up marrying her, but I told my girlfriend at the time and my best friend. I was able to reach out to them when I was really struggling and felt I was going to screw up. They saved me so many times.
Fourth, whenever you fall, pick yourself right back up. I know failure is crushing and depressing. You will feel awful, especially if you’ve been doing well with avoiding the pornography and the other transgressions that usually accompany its usage. But that is the time you need to pray most. God will NEVER feel mocked by your prayer. Go to Him. Cry to Him. Ask Him for guidance and forgiveness.
Fifth – seek the aid of a therapist and a doctor. Sexual addiction can be linked to mental illness, or it may cause serious depression. A doctor can help you see if you need some help, and a therapist will help you learn skills to fight back against the influence of the adversary. If you are diagnosed with depression or some other mental illness, there is nothing wrong with that! You can heal, and you can recover! Sexual addiction is an addiction to the dopamine rush it gives, and your doctor and therapist can help you replace the negative dopamine rush with positive ones.
Find a way to get out of wherever you feel the most tempted. When you feel a temptation building, stop what you’re doing. Go outside, take a walk, call a friend or a family member, drive to the church or the temple. Just a change of scenery can destroy temptation. Stay away as long as you need.
As long as you are fighting to the best of your ability, your addiction is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as you feel that righteous desire to be healed, you should not feel ashamed.
God is your father. First and foremost, His chief calling is his role as your Father in Heaven. No father wants their children to fall, but He knows that if He caught you every time you fell, you would never grow. He knows this battle you are facing, and He has angels waiting in the wings to help you fight this. If the veil could be removed from your eyes, you would see a veritable army just waiting for His command. All you need to do is ask! So please, ask!
Please, please, PLEASE remember you are loved. Your Heavenly Father loves you so much more than you will ever know! You are his beloved daughter, and you are beautiful and have so much potential! You are a Princess, and inside you, you have the potential for all the nobility and righteousness that entails!
You will fight, and you will fall. Heavenly Father will reach out every. Single. Time. And He will lift you up every single time. He will hold your hand until you learn to walk again and you have beaten this sexual addiction. And once you have repented fully, Heavenly Father will show you that you not only have learned how to walk in faith again, you will have learned to fly.
So pray. Please pray. The Savior has taken our sins upon Him, and has provided us a way to repent. And repentance, my beloved heavenly sister, is joyous and wonderful. As Alma said in chapter 36:
18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am bin the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.
19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
I have walked in your shoes, and I know the joy of repentance. But far more importantly, our Savior has walked in your shoes. His hand is stretched out still!
I implore you – once you are done reading this, PRAY! I PROMISE, God will help you break free, no matter how long it takes!
You are in my prayers.