I don’t tell anyone this, but I was engaged to a boy that I didn’t end up marrying. We had a date set in the temple and everything. He broke it off. He told me that he usually dates, “really skinny brunettes,” and that he, “knew he could find someone much better.”
Yepp. Brutal, right?
I had never been crushed so low in my entire life. Reasonably so, right? My self-esteem completely shattered. Even that is an understatement. I’m not skinny enough, pretty enough, I am easily replaceable and bluntly and put, just not good enough. Like, how do you come back from hearing that from someone you were about to marry?
But this post isn’t about marriage, and it’s not even about relationships. (you can read that in my, ‘I’ll Never Get Married,‘ blog post, it’s my #2 most read post!).
But most of all, I had never been more spiritually confused in my entire life. This is one of the trickiest things I’ve gone through. Not because I wasn’t with this guy, but because I thought I was following the spirit, so how could it not work out? What did I do wrong? Why am I being denied such arighteous desire? What’s wrong with me? I all of a sudden doubted my relationship with the spirit—did I even really know him? Was I doing it wrong the whole time? Every day, no matter how hard I tried to be positive and strong, I’d still breakdown.
Every day I’d find myself screaming and pleading to God that this whole thing would be over and that things could be different. And yet, it seemed they weren’t. I worked overtime every day doing everything I could to try and get out of this spiritual and emotional slump that I couldn’t seem to get out of no matter how many prayers I said. I longed for it to pass, and it didn’t. I was mad thinking that my faith and my God were failing me.
I learned an important principle during this time that has literally changed.my.life…Read the conclusion on >>> Al Fox Carraway’s BLOG